Our own tele-idiot is very real and has already conquered Brasília.
Our President analyzes the political moment with shallow metaphors.
Talking about the changes he hopes to promote, he said, "It is
like harvesting fruit. It's no use getting it when it's still green".
Kosinski wouldn't dare this much.

Janer Cristaldo

—And how about you, Mr. Gardiner, what do you think of the bad times in the stock market?—asks the President of the United States.

All Chance Gardiner knows about life is the garden where he was raised. He feels obligated to a response, so he talks about the only thing he knows:

—In a garden, there is a season for plants to grow. There is spring and summer, but also autumn and winter. And then, spring and summer return. As long as the roots are not cut, all is well and will continue well.

The President seems satisfied:

—Mr. Gardiner, I must confess that what you just said is one of the most comforting and optimistic declarations I have had the opportunity to listen to in a long time.

This dialogue—which not only could occur in our days but in fact does occur—actually belongs in the universe of fiction. Polish writer Jerzy Kosinski, upon his arrival in the United States, created with Being There one of the most disturbing characters of our times, called Chance Gardiner. If you didn't read the book, you can still catch the movie, which screened in Brazil under the title Muito Além do Jardim (Way Beyond the Garden), with a magnificent performance by Peter Sellers.

The Brazilian translator of the book had a moment of illumination when he translated the American title as O Vidiota, that is, the video idiot. Gardiner is a domestic servant of a mysterious master, identified in the work as "the Old Man". Chance lives a life of reclusion in the garden of the mansion and he only had contact with two people in his whole life, the Old Man and the Old Man's housekeeper. His name is Chance because he was born by chance. He can't read or write. His only contact with the world outside is through the television. When he doesn't like what he sees, it's simple: he turns off the set, or he changes the channel with his remote control.

The Old Man dies and Chance is thrown out in the world by the servants. With only the shirt on his back, literally. When the wife of a senator runs him over in the street and asks him who he is, he says: I'm the gardener. And he becomes known as Chance Gardiner. Because he didn't carry any money or documents, the wife of the senator imagines that it must be someone very important and takes him to her house. Chance, who had never thought about the subject, is inserted into the power circle.

People who read the book or saw the film know the end of the story: by repeating clichés he heard on television, Chance builds a brilliant career in the media and starts being considered for president of the United States. If you haven't read Kosinski, please do it immediately: it is one of the most profound parables in contemporary literature. With television, any illiterate can have a more or less general idea of what occurs around himself and in the world. Strictly speaking, nobody needs to read anymore to understand—or to suppose having understood—the world.

If the Kosinski gardener belongs in the universe of fiction, our own tele-idiot is very real and has already conquered Brasília. Without a single tinge of culture or logic, our President analyzes the political moment with shallow metaphors. Talking about the gradual process of changes he hopes to promote in the economy, he said, in the best Gardiner style: "It is like harvesting fruit. It's no use getting it when it's still green". Not even Kosinski would dare this much.

The agricultural rethoric didn't stop there. In a solemn speech to the members of the Council on Economic and Social Development, the spirit of Chance descended again. The President remembered that 15 years ago he bought a jabuticaba* plant and planted it in his small farm, but the tree never yielded any fruit. One day his wife, first-companion Marisa Letícia, appeared with an identical plant, in a vase. Lula thought it was impossible to grow jabuticabas in an apartment, in a vase. But Marisa Letícia believed in the plant and cared for it, watering it frequently. Our Chance's conclusion: "the little jabuticaba tree yields four or five times a year, something this Council can transform itself into, if it so desires."

Delighted with his own words, he went on and concluded that the jabuticaba tree in the farm had not yielded because he didn't know how to care for it, or because the soil had some problem. "She believed more than I did. If we transform the opportunities we have in smaller things, surely the Council will be able to represent the jabuticaba tree in my farm. But, if we think big and take loving care of the millions of Brazilians, men and women, neglected by everyone for many, many years, surely this Council will be able to represent the jabuticaba tree that Marisa planted in the apartment."

More recently, the Planalto's gardening apprentice decided to have a go at fishing. Commenting on the juridical framework of the country, he uttered the sentence: "In fact, any fisherman who is here today knows that big fish take longer to catch with a hook. If Maluf knows how to fish, he knows that catching a little lambari (minnow) is easier than catching a pintado, or a jaú (large Amazon catfish)".

If our Gardiner would stick to his garden, he could even pass as a sage. But the man is fascinated by words and doesn't hesitate even when confronted with History. At the occasion of the inauguration of the new Polibrasil factory, he lavished his erudition: "When Napoleon Bonaparte visited China for the first time, he said that China is a giant and the day the giant wakes up, the world will tremble". The phrase is, in fact, from Napoleon. Pity he never went to China. For a man who has stated that the Bible does not contain any instance of hunger, this visit to China is trifle.

But the government is not enough for our Gardiner. He already had his name put forth for the Brazilian Academy of Leters, as well as for the Nobel of Peace. This administration has barely started. Fun years await us ahead. "Love, with faith and pride, the land where you were born! Child! You will never see a country such as this one".

You sure won't.

* Translator's note: Jabuticaba (myciaria cauliflora)—grape-size, blue-black, pulpy fruit.

Janer Cristaldo—he holds a PhD from University of Paris, Sorbonne—is an author, translator, lawyer, philosopher and journalist and suffers São Paulo. His e-mail address is cristal@baguete.com.br  

Translated by Tereza Braga, email: tbragaling@cs.com

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