Rapidinhas - December 95

First Lady Hillary Clinton

Photo-op

Secret revealed

Hillary Rodham Clinton, passed every test during her recent trip to Brazil: the elegance test, the courtesy test, the charm test, the intelligence test. The American First Lady flunked, however, the cross-your-legs test.

Every little girl learns from her mom, who learned from her mom, that nice girls cross their legs or at least keep them together when seating in public places in skimpy dresses.

Mrs. Clinton forgot this simple rule and ended up revealing a piece of her most intimate clothing to the indiscreet lenses of Brasília's photo-reporters while talking to much more discreetly dressed Ruth Cardoso, her Brazilian counterpart.

Always thriving on controversy, lingerie manufacturer Du Loren used the occasion for a dubious homage to the First Lady. Taking a spread in magazines, the company published an ad with a message for Mr. Clinton: "Mr. President of the United States of America: Your Excellency can't imagine what a Du Loren is capable of." And in smaller letters at the bottom: "A Du Loren's homage to one of this decade's most important women."

The White House complained, the campaign was pulled out, but Du Loren had already made its point. As for Mrs. Clinton she should have been warned by her advance men. Brazilian photojournalists are famous for getting indecent exposures.

Last Carnaval, they exposed the whole intimacy of model and call girl Lilian Ramos. She wasn't wearing panties or anything else under the T-shirt-skirt she had when entertaining then President Itamar Franco.

Ex-First Lady Rosane Collor and ex-Finance Minister Zélia Cardoso were also caught with their panties showing.

Art

To the highest bidder

Tarsila do Amaral's "Abaporu" has been bought at a New York Christie's auction by Eduardo Constantini, an Argentinean businessman. The picture, which was painted in 1928, is a milestone of Brazilian modernism. São Paulo state government tried to prevent the sale of the work when Raul Forbes, a Paulista art collector, announced the impending sale, but the action was considered illegal by the courts.

Forbes had the painting since 1984. For years the work had been available with no private or public party showing any serious interest. Constantini paid $1.4 million, the highest price ever disbursed for a Brazilian painting. He was the same guy who spent $3.2 million to buy Mexican Frida Kahlo's Self-Portrait with Monkey and Parrot. Lasar Segall and Cândido Portinari, two other importantat Brazilian modernist painters, never sold a painting for more than $500,000.

By the book

Brazil has made it into the Guinness Book of World Records again and not for any weird category such as the biggest soap bubble or the ugliest woman alive. Paulista (from São Paulo) José Carlos Ryoki Inoue, 49, has gained a place in the book as the world's most prolific writer. Since July 1985, using 39 different noms de plume, he has written 1020 romances. A pulp fiction author, Ryoki has specialized in private-eye and cowboy stories. And he shares the page with an already famous Brazilian writer: Jorge Amado. Gabriela, Clove and Cinnamon's author is cited in the Guinness as the fictionist alive who has sold more books than anyone else. Amado wrote 32 romances which sold 20 million copies in 48 languages.

Road revamping

The Ministry of Transportation has given up Via Dutra, the road that connects Rio and São Paulo, the two biggest Brazilian cities. The Dutra is part of BR 116, a highway that cuts Brazil from North to South and is also known as Rodovia da Morte (Death Roadway). For years, that vital artery has practically been abandoned, left without signs and badly fixed potholes. Camargo Corrêa and Andrade Gutierrez, two big contractors, are now in charge of the highway. In exchange they will be able to explore its tollgates for the next 25 years. They promise to invest $120 millions only in emergency repairs in the next six months. The government was planning on spending no more than $10 million in the same period. Instead of fixing potholes the federal government used to place signs to warn drivers about their existence. Other federal road privatizations they total 32,000 km are on the way.

Blowing the cover

It's no secret Brasília's politicians are a very sex-liberated bunch. Lobbyists are famous for promoting parties in hotel suites in which more than hats and coats are taken out. Acknowledging this reality Playtime, a Brasília motel, has opened its group-sex suite, in which up to 20 people can frolic in a sumptuous set, with sunroof, dance floor, Jacuzzi, two super king-size beds, plus multipurpose sofas and sofa-beds.

The new suite was immediately booked for the night, several weeks in advance. The four-hour rent for the super-suite is a modest $138 on weekdays, rising to $165 from Friday to Sunday. There is a $20 additional per person when the group exceeds four.

Bráulio's new adventure

Bráulio has started another campaign. He first became famous as a talkative penis on an anti-AIDS TV ad. The promotion ended fast when whole Bráulios menaced to take the federal government to court because of their moniker's use. Now, Bráulio is launching his name as candidate for mayor of São Paulo. The candidacy has been presented by PATO (duck, but also the abbreviation for Partido Abstrato Tropical Onírico — Visionary Tropical Abstract Party) with the slogan: "This one you know. Bráulio for mayor." Posters with the message and a telephone for contact (826-5839) have been glued all over town. Bráulio is the ideal candidate, says PATO's president José Roberto Reder Borges, 44. "He has penetration in all social classes," he explains, adding: " He is also very ecological-minded. He loves a bush."

Sparing no dime

Juiz de Fora's (Minas Gerais) mayor has started a media campaign to convince the population to not give alms to minors. "The money you give will never get him off the streets", says one poster with a picture of a poor little boy. The campaign asks people to contribute to charitable institutions and guarantees that the municipal government has the resources to deal with all the street kids.

Collected poetry

Ecco Press is releasing this month the biggest Carlos Drummond de Andrade's anthology ever published in the US. Mineiro Drummond, who died in 1987, is considered our most important modern poet. The anthology's title: Traveling in the Family.

Mi Buenos Aires querida

How badly informed on Brazil is the CIA? On its homepage on the Internet, there's a photo with the legend: Rio de Janeiro, capital of Brazil. Brazil's capital has moved to Brasília in 1960. Adding harm to injury the city shown in the picture shown is not Rio, but Buenos Aires. It seems that, in the US, Argentina's capital will be forever Brazil's capital too.

Behavior

Six-pack fun

If it's from Bahia it has to be hot. As in previous summers Baianos are exporting a new dance to the rest of Brazil. Under the seemingly innocent name of `dança da garrafa' (bottle dance) the northern state has created a very racy rhythm with less than subtle sexual provocation. No secret to the dance.

A woman places a bottle on the floor and begins dancing over it and while the music proceeds she starts lowering herself over it until her genitals touch the bottle's mouth. Rio and São Paulo have already approved the risqué steps.

It was Willys Batista de Araújo and Eleonor Sacramento's song "Na Boca da Garrafa" ("On the Bottle's Mouth") that started the new craze. The music became a hit after Salvador's (Bahia's capital) Gerasamba band started to play the tune. The lyrics are full of double entendres. Take a look:

No samba ela me diz que rala 

No samba eu já vi ela quebrar 

No samba ela me diz que rala rala 

No samba eu já vi ela quebrar 

No samba ela gosta do rala-rala 

Me trocou pela garrafa 

Não agüentou e foi ralar 

Vai ralando na boquinha da garrafa 

É na boca da garrafa 

Vai descendo na boquinha da garrafa 

É na boca da garrafa 

Desce mais, desce mais um pouquinho 

Desce mais, desce devagarinho 

Vai saindo da boquinha da garrafa 

É na boca da garrafa 

Vai subindo na boquinha da garrafa 

É na boca da garrafa 

Sobe mais, sobe mais um pouquinho 

Sobe mais, sobe devagarinho 

É, ela gosta do rala-rala e no embalo do samba 

Ela só pensa em ralar 

Ela gosta do rala-rala 

Viu a boca da garrafa, não agüentou e foi ralar

In the samba she tells me she rubs 

In the samba I've seen her breaking down 

In the samba she tells me she rub-rubs 

In the samba I've seen her breaking down 

In the samba she tells me she rubs 

In the samba she likes the rubbing 

She swapped me for the bottle 

She couldn't wait and went to rub 

Get rubbing on the bottle's mouth 

On the bottle's mouth 

Get down on the bottle's mouth 

On the bottle's mouth 

Get down, down a little more 

Get lower, very slowly 

Get out of the bottle's mouth 

Of the bottle's mouth 

Get up, up a little more 

Rise up, very slowly 

Yeah, she likes a rubbing and when she sambas

All she thinks is to rub herself

She likes the rubbing

She saw the bottle's mouth,

couldn't resist, and went to rub

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